Bandwiches

  ¿Quieres un bocadito a la Tom Waits, mi amor?  Hilarante, y además completamente acertado. Más de John Peck aquí.

AC/DC: Beer-battered kangaroo sausage, sliced hard-boiled egg, low-calorie port cheese, Dutch crunch.

Black Sabbath: Ham, stilton, LSD mustard, milled wheat bread.

Thin Lizzy: Chopped sausage, mincemeat, Jameson-shiitake reduction, soda bread.

The Beatles: Beef, ham, chicken, lamb, fondue sauce, dinner roll.

Wings: Sliced vegan haggis, wilted arugula, aged soy cheddar, rice bread.

Led Zeppelin: Arum sandwich with hummus, lettuce, 22 thin-sliced deli meats; side of Colman’s mustard.

Bob Dylan: Scrapple, melted pepper jack, hemp-seed garlic bread.

The Pogues: Gin-fed lamb, whiskey-marinated turkey, beer-braised pork shoulder, mustard, soda bread.

Van Halen: Grilled 17-cheese sandwich on white bread; side of nacho cheese soup.

Ted Nugent: Cubed Grizzly bear, white buffalo brisket, unicorn haunch, Jim Beam barbecue sauce, white bread.

The Jimi Hendrix Experience: Bacon-double cheeseburger, mescaline pesto, sourdough bread.

Yes: Smoked ham, sprouts, candied foxgloves, braised fawn, dandelion greens, grilled fly agaric, irradiated kamut roll.

Allman Brothers: Honey-bourbon brisket, potato chips, Milk Duds, dandelion greens, seeded bun.

Pink Floyd: Amethyst-rubbed pork, asparagus jelly, moon-dried tomatoes, pumpernickel.

Jethro Tull: Roasted king bolete, ginger chutney, hempseed bread.

Emerson, Lake and Palmer: Ham, grape jelly, everything bagel.

Van Morrison: Lamb kebab, yogurt, thistle butter, Tupelo honey, jelly roll.

Simon and Garfunkel: Fried pork cutlet, ketchup, mustard, parsley, sage, rosemary, flour tortilla.

Bruce Springsteen: Cheesesteak, peppers, grilled headband, ketchup, seeded bun.

ABBA: Reindeer paté, candied rose petals, white bread.

Guns ’n Roses: Bacon-double cheeseburger, bittermelon jelly, Rogain aioli, sliced glazed donut.

The Who: Roast beef, boiled guitar strings, dinner roll.

Neil Young: Cubed ham, Kraft macaroni and cheese, blackened Anaheim peppers, 18-grain Anasazi bread.

Rolling Stones: Beef tongue, caviar, platinum-coated fried onions, ketchup, white bread.

Tom Waits: Boiled racehorse brisket, mustard, dark rye bread.

Roxy Music: Tandoori chicken breast, kalamata olive and sun-dried tomato tapenade, fried dragonfly wings, mache, sprouted bun.

Brian Ferry: Chipotle/cocaine-rubbed pork shoulder, herbed goat cheese, french roll.

The Cars: Pepsi-braised hamburger, Roquefort dressing, white bread.

Neil Diamond: Brandy-marinated ham, cheese spread, cherry pie filling, Texas toast.

Queen: Fried Corinthian leather, Pop Rocks, sprouts, mayo, baguette.

Creedence Clearwater Revival: Alligator sausage, ketchup, relish, seeded hot dog bun.

Cream: Curried goat ribs, marmalade, lettuce, ruby powder, spelt bread.

Beach Boys: Grilled chicken breast, mustard, lettuce, SPF-50 sunscreen aioli, crispy fried peyote bits, white bread.

The Doors: Beer-battered fried chicken, mescaline ketchup, Navajo fry bread.

Huey Lewis and the News: Butterflied hot dog, pizza sauce, Cheez-Whiz, Dutch crunch.

Hall and Oates: Tuna salad, diet coleslaw, pomade, hamburger bun.

Prince: Braised peacock cheeks, lavender spread, mustard, mayo, baguette.

Grateful Dead: Lemon verbena sorbet, peanut butter, clarified hemp butter, deep-fried brownie bites, M&Ms, stale focaccia.

Kiss: Low-sodium smoked turkey, Velveeta, braised $100 bills, sequined bun.

Meat Loaf: Turkey meatloaf, lettuce, fat-free mayo, deep-fried silk, whole wheat bread, pint of dipping gravy.

Styx: Chopped hot dog, Cheez-Whiz, butter, poppyseed bagel.

Heart: Stewed cloud ear mushrooms, jalapeño mustard, mayo, arugula, hexagonal gold-embossed cornbread.

The Police: Smoked trout, horseradish-Viagra mayo, white bread.

Rush: Seagrams-marinated grilled flank steak, carbonated pineapple-jalapeño cheese spread, maple-wasabi aioli, hand-milled laser-cut 37-grain flatbread.

U2: Olive loaf, Tasmanian honey, shade-grown arugula, free-trade coffee-balsamic reduction, wheat bread.

Nick Drake: Ptarmigan tears, nettle spread, rice bread.

David Bowie: Curried snow leopard, mayo, garlic naan.

The Kinks: Roast beef, balsamic cigarette-butt reduction, dark rye.

Squeeze: Pickled herring, Dijon mustard, Silly String, pumpernickel.

Can: Flash-fried hummingbird, sliced gruyere, shredded kelp, curry ketchup, seeded roll.

John Cage: Silence, warmth, indirect sunlight, the memory of lettuce, the idea of bread.

Velvet Underground: Salami, cheddar, shredded pre-war 1000-Deutschmark bills, oil paint, heroin gravy, French roll.

R.E.M.: Vegan chicken tenders, small-batch barbecue sauce, pickled rutabaga, dinner roll.

The Residents: Ham, cheese, playing cards, nickels, rye bread.

Bjork: Sliced narwhal, mustard, whole wheat bread.

Pixies: Hamburger, ketchup, crispy hemp leaves, Belgian waffle.

Sonic Youth: Roast beef, cheddar spread, brie, pork sausage, soy sausage, almond butter, curried prawns, barbiturate mayo, Asian coleslaw, shredded coconut, sprouted wheat bread.

Fugazi: Cold Tofurkey, radicchio, frozen capers, rice bread.

Kraftwerk: Vegan peppered ham, cucumber slices, baked microchips, sprouted wheat bread.

Aphex Twin: Stilton, Colman’s mustard, wasabi paste, adrenochrome jelly, baked Polaroids, dinner roll.

Ministry: Cheeseburger, pickles, lettuce, WD-40 aioli, cocaine-dusted bun.

Godspeed You! Black Emperor: Vegan brisket, raw horseradish, mascerated ghost pepper dressing, whole baguette.

Venom: Burnt goat marrow, black sand, iceberg lettuce, scarab-husk bread.

Bauhaus: Baked tofu, hemlock spread, black mustard, French roll.

The Cure: Turkey ham, mayo, Chanel No. 5, sparrow feathers, wheat bread.

Depeche Mode: Chicken breast, Swiss cheese, grilled suede, fried onions, mascara aioli, seeded baguette.

The Smiths: Vegan ham, mustard, mayo, bacon wrapped in lettuce, white bread.

Joy Division: Stilton, nightshade jelly, zucchini bread.

The Clash: Moroccan eggplant tagine, marmite, soda bread.

Sex Pistols: Deep-fried Frank Sinatra LP, Russian mustard, spackle, tacks, stale rye bread.

Ramones: Sliced hot dog, amphetamine ketchup, mustard, relish, white bread.

Misfits: Pizza sub with pepperoni, mozzarella, olives, and fried bat nuggets; Kaiser roll.

Black Flag: Smoked turkey, mustard, shredded griptape, black spraypaint, sprouts, wheat bread.

G.G. Allin: Cubed grilled hammerhead shark, KY jelly, chunky peanut butter, stale tortilla.

Bread: Bread.